Because words matter.

We know language matters. There's a reason that's one of the very first things we teach the children. We start teaching them language as soon as they are born. Even before we think about teaching them how to walk or feed and take care of themselves. We teach them to talk.

We also know words matter. Even when the children don't know what a certain word may mean or the fact that babies will most likely not remember most things said to them, most of us are incredibly careful not to use any kind of profanity or 'bad words' when in vicinity of a child.

Then how come we forget, or rather wilfully let go of this knowledge around everyone else? When becoming an adult is seen as something that comes with having understanding, taking responsibility and being wise - how come we ignore those traits in our speech?

You can use the sweetest words and hurt someone. You can use the most foul language and still touch someone's heart. As adults we understand the complexity of language and what role human emotions and intentions play in communication. Yet we ignore it all for the most part. Or do we? It's not like you can forget the knowledge you've cultivated during your entire lifetime so easily, is it? Isn't it more so that we choose to be careless with our words knowing full well they may hurt the one they are being said to?

And of course there's the flip side. Because we all use our words so carelessly for the most part, to the point it's become a habit, we have become insecure and fearful. We choose to take offense over statements made and turn it into an issue where a little understanding and endurance might have resolved it. Instead, we get offended and change it into an attack and defence situation where both sides feel attack and hence feel as though they need to defend themselves against the other leading to no resolution at all but a big divide that keeps on growing.

Words matter. Choose them wisely. Even with good intentions you may hurt and/or offend people and they may not be willing to understand your intentions. But, be tolerant. Simply because they don't understand you doesn't mean you can't understand them. You can't always explain yourself and smooth things over even if you had done nothing wrong. But simply because you aren't wrong, does it mean you are right? There are situation in life where there is no one wrong or right. You have to work your way through them to grow as a human being.

I know it may seem unfair and you may feel wronged regardless of which side you end being on. The one who was misunderstood and not allowed to explain or one who misunderstood what was said and didn't feel like hearing excuses. Either way, try to extend your understanding. Try to be tolerant. Take it from someone who realized that no one will ever be able to fully understand her in life at the age of 4, that as much as it may hurt and cause hardship, it doesn't really matter. Being understood by even one person on even one matter isn't overrated at all. But because you weren't understood is why you need to understand everyone one else. As much as you possibly can. It'll make the world a better place for at least a few more people.

Understanding is the reason why Sifardan is the palace people ended up coming to when they wanted to run from home but had no place to go. And understanding is also the reason why they went home afterwards. Safe havens are not places you live in. They are there to let you resolve your inner turmoil, to help you reflect and see different perspectives, to let you feel safe and be yourself and most of all to help you get the courage to face the situation you are in and find a path you can walk down with your head held high. This was my hope when I created Khwabgah. That words I share may be that safe heaven for someone. That hope is why I still write even when I honestly don't know if my words have helped someone or not. It's simply the understanding for the need of hope.