10 Reasons why I'm writing a Romance.
I've been fully dedicating my time to writing this novel that is going to be a romance. I've written about what made me want to take on this task before but recently I've taken a dive head first into what kind of romance narratives exist in current media around the world. Originally, when I started writing the book, I thought to myself "How am I of all people going to write a romance. If I was angry with the narrative and social behaviour I could've just made a list of books that are marvellous and fall under the genre." But the more I look into the popular media, the more I realize, this narrative really needs to be combated by more stories that move the world's mindset into better direction and most importantly out of the patriarchal, archaic nonsense.
Therefore, here's a crazy list of 10 reason to why I'm writing a romance.
1. Women don't fart and men don't cry. (Sure! that makes perfect sense. Not.)
2. A woman should back a man and a man should take care of the woman. (Um, what about everyone in the LGBTQ community? Also, that sound more like a business deal than a relationship based on love. And not even a good business deal at that. Also, I thought we'd moved past that meaning of marriage by this century. Guess not.)
3. There in no 'home' without a woman. (What is she, your caretaker? housekeeper? There to put emotion in your life? Come on, now!)
4. A woman needs a man to teach here true professionalism and how to be ambitious. (Ha! Seriously?!)
5. Women can't change lightbulbs and men can't pack lunches. (Worst case scenario, regardless of gender, if you really don't know how - ever heard of electricians and meal plans?)
6. Without love, one cannot be complete. (OK, this one I kind of agree with. But who says love only exist in one form and must be between a man and a woman. Friends, family, what are they? Meaningless individuals cast to play the background actors in your life?)
7. Only desperate and sad women by themselves expensive gifts. Those gestures should come from a man. (I would laugh manically if I could! What a joke. Have these people never heard of self care? And again, regardless of gender, what so wrong about an individual providing for themselves? That's a good thing. Not a bad one.)
8. Look past the arrogance, mean actions and roughness of a man. If you truly love each other, you'll see his hidden virtues. (The horrifying concept that leads people like me to have to repeatedly say things like - Marriage doesn't equal consent and husbands rape wives too.)
9. Men can slip up sometime but women should be faithful and forgiving. (This is 2018, right?!)
10. Woman is the heart and man is the brain. (How about everyone gets to have a heart and a brain and perhaps a soul? Also, how about we don't make this world an all exclusive palace only for cis-gender, heterosexual, monogamous humans since the world we live in isn't just made up of them.)
Do you know what's the most common underlying narrative in popular media under romance saturated with right now?
A sweet, innocent, emotional and good hearted woman falling in love with an arrogant seeming, mean treating, self-made, rich, young and successful man who really is kind but must cross paths with aforementioned woman in life to bring out that kindness and tame his temper. She must teach him there is more to life than achieving success in work place and he must teach her how to be a professional and have drive because she is clumsy, immature and unprofessional.
Makes me wanna scream and put my head through a wall. It's insane. It really is an insane narrative. And essentially it's teaching that even if you are a strong woman and there are no fairy tales in real life, if you are a wonderful person with warm heart, a rich man with prickly behaviour but kind heart will come recuse you and whisk you away to the world of elites and no worries. What a cockamamie notion!
Hence, we really need to put out more thought provoking, world deifying, self relying, wholistic, mindful and inclusive stories out there in the world that must, and really must, redefine what love and relationships mean to challenge these archaic notions that have dogged are communities for a far too many centuries. Enough is enough after all. We should create a better world for the future generations of humans. We must teach them humanity. We really must.
Therefore, here's a crazy list of 10 reason to why I'm writing a romance.
1. Women don't fart and men don't cry. (Sure! that makes perfect sense. Not.)
2. A woman should back a man and a man should take care of the woman. (Um, what about everyone in the LGBTQ community? Also, that sound more like a business deal than a relationship based on love. And not even a good business deal at that. Also, I thought we'd moved past that meaning of marriage by this century. Guess not.)
3. There in no 'home' without a woman. (What is she, your caretaker? housekeeper? There to put emotion in your life? Come on, now!)
4. A woman needs a man to teach here true professionalism and how to be ambitious. (Ha! Seriously?!)
5. Women can't change lightbulbs and men can't pack lunches. (Worst case scenario, regardless of gender, if you really don't know how - ever heard of electricians and meal plans?)
6. Without love, one cannot be complete. (OK, this one I kind of agree with. But who says love only exist in one form and must be between a man and a woman. Friends, family, what are they? Meaningless individuals cast to play the background actors in your life?)
7. Only desperate and sad women by themselves expensive gifts. Those gestures should come from a man. (I would laugh manically if I could! What a joke. Have these people never heard of self care? And again, regardless of gender, what so wrong about an individual providing for themselves? That's a good thing. Not a bad one.)
8. Look past the arrogance, mean actions and roughness of a man. If you truly love each other, you'll see his hidden virtues. (The horrifying concept that leads people like me to have to repeatedly say things like - Marriage doesn't equal consent and husbands rape wives too.)
9. Men can slip up sometime but women should be faithful and forgiving. (This is 2018, right?!)
10. Woman is the heart and man is the brain. (How about everyone gets to have a heart and a brain and perhaps a soul? Also, how about we don't make this world an all exclusive palace only for cis-gender, heterosexual, monogamous humans since the world we live in isn't just made up of them.)
Do you know what's the most common underlying narrative in popular media under romance saturated with right now?
A sweet, innocent, emotional and good hearted woman falling in love with an arrogant seeming, mean treating, self-made, rich, young and successful man who really is kind but must cross paths with aforementioned woman in life to bring out that kindness and tame his temper. She must teach him there is more to life than achieving success in work place and he must teach her how to be a professional and have drive because she is clumsy, immature and unprofessional.
Makes me wanna scream and put my head through a wall. It's insane. It really is an insane narrative. And essentially it's teaching that even if you are a strong woman and there are no fairy tales in real life, if you are a wonderful person with warm heart, a rich man with prickly behaviour but kind heart will come recuse you and whisk you away to the world of elites and no worries. What a cockamamie notion!
Hence, we really need to put out more thought provoking, world deifying, self relying, wholistic, mindful and inclusive stories out there in the world that must, and really must, redefine what love and relationships mean to challenge these archaic notions that have dogged are communities for a far too many centuries. Enough is enough after all. We should create a better world for the future generations of humans. We must teach them humanity. We really must.
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