I didn't know.

I was a human, for the first three years of my life. Then I started school, an activity that integrates one into society, and suddenly, I was a girl. Who knew? I didn't. I thought we were all the same. That's what my family and nature had taught me. I didn't even know humans were different than other creatures of nature. My best friend after all was a puppy. It was an innocent interaction. We met at some family friends house, he was a few weeks old, I was a few years old, we played together and didn't want to be separated so we decided to live together. To me, that's how the world worked. I did live in utopia for the first three years of my existence. Everyone just loved each other and everyone was the same. Of course, I didn't know back then I was the epitome of naivety.  But, what a existence that was! The second I stepped out all I wanted to do was go back. Until I realized that could never be. 

And I had to grow up being a girl. Become a women, be a lady. I had to remember all these idols - be docile, be respectful, listen to everyone, do as you are told, look pretty but dress conservatively. Ha! what a joke! The world I grew up in knew whose daughter I was. Did they really think I'd cower? My Mother was/is an activist, a feminist. My Father, was/is an activist, a feminist. They made sure I knew exactly how to stand up, speak out, fight for change, create a revolution and do what is right. But the societies I've lived in still did try rather hard, to beat me down. To make me comply.

Your parents let you move to a different country at 17?

You live on your own at 18?

You sounded so smart and mature over the phone, I thought you'd be older.

Aren't you scared of living alone?

You went for a walk by yourself after dark?

You don't always lock your doors?

You invite in strangers?

You have friends who are guys and you hang out with them?

And that age old statement lurking on there faces no one ever dare say to me - men and women can never just be friends. 

I still answer all these questions. I still have to fight for my right to simply be me and live my own life with the freedom I was born with. 

And in all of this, I'd forgotten pretty much all of it. Because my focus was in supporting the women who weren't safe in their home and work places. These women were/are my friends. People I know were both - criminals and victims.  And supporting while navigating through their silence and resilience to take action is one of the strongest and hardest things I've done in life. And even though I know I helped, the fact that there still was no proper justice, no actual punishment and not much had changed,  is what made me write poems. It's what made me write this. Sometimes, justice doesn't matter. Sometimes it doesn't matter if the perpetrators were caught and punished or the society was made to change it's patterns. Because sometimes, all that matters is, that one life be saved. That one life be given somewhat of peace to live on and be happy. Sometimes it's not about speaking out or standing up. Sometime it's simply about being able to live so that the children of the world may grow up knowing different. So that they may do better, have better than what we had. From the pages of 15th century to the voices of 21st century 一 there are still daughters discarded, wives abused, mothers battered and women kidnapped. Yet, there is change. Slow, much slower than it should be, but there is change. And a change for the better. Centuries ago I would have had to disguise my voice with a mans name to write anything that saw the light of day. Today I speak with my own name. 

Believe in the power of your words, value of your stories, and momentum of your actions. And know - you are not alone. You are loved. You are stronger than you know.